Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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