I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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