Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
