Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
All I want is dick and wine.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
