who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
