No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
