just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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