Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
