You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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