he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
