oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
