we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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