just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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