I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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