awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
