i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
how does that bad decision feel?
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