Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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