IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize