Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
