I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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