Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
