she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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