So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
