Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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