i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
