At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
