Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
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As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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