I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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