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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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