Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
