..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
