Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
