he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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