He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
