I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
