No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
