yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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