You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i think we sleep fucked last night...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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