Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
