i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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