I'm lost and stupid without you.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
