YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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