I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
