That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
