Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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