hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
