so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
