oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
