Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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