well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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