The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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