I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
how does that bad decision feel?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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