How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
