I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
