What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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