You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
