weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
