he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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