32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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