sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
