Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
