the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
