He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
