Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
