Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Randomize
