Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
